Meeting at the Monuments

Rika Kisaragi stood in the rain, staring at the newly-unveiled monument to her brother. Apparently inspired by a picture from the World of the Living, it had the Captains and Lieutenants that had fallen in the Edge War hoisting a massive pillar upward. A simple engraving read "Dedicated to those whose sacrifice kept us safe." The monument stood in the middle of a circular depression in the ground. Two entrance ramps led up to ground level. Along the walls were the names of the thousands of Shinigami who had died due to the Edge War. Rika placed a soggy bouquet of flowers at the foot of the statue before walking over to try to find the section where her brother's name would be.

Scanning the high walls took Rika's attention away from beneath her. She tripped over something and only barely caught herself. Yet, she did not anger. She spun to see why she had tripped. A soaked, yet handsome man had been kneeling, reading some of the names. "Oh no, are you okay? I'm sorry I was just trying to find my older brother's name and wasn't paying attention. " Rika smiled at the soggy man in apology.

Lost in thought, his eyes unfocused, but facing a group of names. His brother was among them: Kazuo Saionji. Though his name was also on his statue, it was placed here in alphabetical order. The name before him was after Zentaro Saikawa and before Akira Saito. His mind refocused when something ran into him. He looked up over his shoulder and saw a young woman standing there. Calmly collecting himself, he wiped some rain from his face as he stood up, though it was quickly covered again. "Your brother..." he said, his words barely heard with the rain. "Don't apologize for looking for his name. I lost my brother as well. I'm sorry."

"If anything, I'm apologizing for being short." Rika let out a small chuckle. Without prompting, she lifted her small umbrella up to cover the soggy man's head. "We All lost someone that day. A friend, a family member, a spouse... I don't think I would trust anyone who apologizes for trying to remember a loved one. I'm sorry for your loss as well. This... Might be prying, but was your brother older or younger than you?" She very pointedly did not ask for his name.

The small twitch at the side of his mouth went nowhere else. J didn't have the energy to chuckle. He glanced up to the umbrella above him and then stared down at the woman before him. "Thank you." he said, clearing his throat after he almost choked on the words. "He was... Uh... Younger. He was my little brother."

Rika nodded, then turned back towards the wall. "Once again, we're opposites. I lost my older brother." This time, she choked on the words. "He... wasn't always the best brother, but I wasn't always the best sister. I wouldn't have had anyone else but him as my older brother though." She turned back to him. Whether her face was wet with tears or rain was impossible to tell. "I'm Rika. I'd... rather not give my last name."

J looked up toward the wall again, skimming quickly over the hundreds of names on this section. His eyes moved to the statue and what little light they had faded again. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he pushed back the weakness he felt pushing against him. He took a deep breath. "Well, your brother and I have something in common. I wasn't a good older brother. He deserved better." He cleared his throat again and turned away, ready to walk off. He stopped and looked over his shoulder. "I'm J."

Rika rolled her eyes and grabbed J's arm.  "And do you think your brother would have had it any other way?" She stared at him, almost in challenge. "If you cared for him even a tenth of what I see from you right now, he probably felt the same way I did. What we 'deserve' isn't what we get... nor is it necessarily what we need, Jay."

J stiffened as he was grabbed. That... he was not used to. He looked back to her and then to her hand. He gently placed his hand on hers and pushed it off. "Whether your words ring true or not does not lessen the guilt... or the anger. My brother did not deserve to die the way he did. Everything about his death... was wrong."

"I never said it should or would. All that should do is to help you understand that yes, you were a good brother." She put a hand to her heart. " The only thing that will get rid of the guilt and anger is time. Until then, you're going to find another could have, another should have, and another would have. And even once you've made peace, there will always be that hole in your heart. You will see something that reminds you of them, hear a joke you know they would think was funny, or even just remember a happy memory... And you'll be a little bit sad for a while. That's okay. What isn't okay is blaming yourself. No one's death in this was right. So, you should not blame yourself. It's not your fault."

There was a long moment of silence where J stared at this young woman. He understood what she was trying to do, and he even agreed with it. If only she knew the amount of wrong that surrounded his brother's death... maybe then she'd understand why sometimes it just isn't that easy. He wasn't going to put that on her though. J took a deep breath, held it, and then slowly exhaled. He looked up to the sky, watching the spaces between the falling rain. "You sound as if your life has been troubled with more than your fair share of death. Mine has as well... Though, I guess it comes with the territory of this world. Still... I wish it was me." Once again, J began walking off, "I've gotta go. It was nice meeting you, Rika."

Rika didn't speak in the awkward silence that followed. She let him think and take in her words—and more rain. As he began walking off, Rika grabbed his hand, placing a laminated card in his palm. "There isn't a name on that wall that someone doesn't wish was theirs instead. This is my card. Take it—no buts. I work there from sunup to about... two hours from dusk just about every day. Find me there whenever you want to talk. Just ask for me and I'll make time—one grieving sibling to another." She let go, smiling warmly before walking briskly away. This sad, wet man needed some warmth in his life and she thought she could provide it.