Time in the Hospital

Lilith was unconscious for a full day before she opened her eyes. She realized she was in a Fourth Division hospital room, and sitting in a chair beside her was Genpaku. Knowing him, he was there most of the night, if not all of it, and was filling his time there with busywork. She smiled and watched him silently for a few seconds. "I'm sure watching me sleep is boring... Have you eaten?"

Genpaku looked up from his paperwork, setting down his pen and shuffling them off to a side table he'd had dragged in.  "Yes, only because a few of the Division members around here remember how Midori used to nag me about it at your insistence, and keep up the habit in her absence," he said, a tinge of sadness behind the slight sarcasm.  He tilted his head slightly, looking at her.  "How are you feeling?"

Lilith chuckled and stared at the ceiling for a few seconds. Memories of the day before rushed to the forefront of her thoughts. She closed her eyes and suppressed them. "I'm weaker than I like, but I can feel my strength returning." She sat up and crossed her legs, staring at the bed. "Are you okay?"

His answer...may not have been what she'd expected.  With the quickness you'd expect from Genpaku, he had crossed the room and brought down a fist on top of Lilith's head.  Not hard enough to really hurt her, not that Genpaku was certain he could hurt her in that sense, even if he tried.  Enough that it'd register though.
"You do that to me again, and I will blow up the damn thing myself," the young captain growled out, and before she had much of a chance to argue, Genpaku had grabbed her in a tight hug.

Lilith closed her eyes tightly when she was hit. It didn't hurt, but she got the point. "I won't. I promise." she said and as he came in for a hug, she matched him, pulling him into a tight hug as well. However, she didn't immediately release. "Gen, I am sorry. When we realized what was to be done, my mind raced to what I knew Kaito and Ryotaro..." Lilith shook some, her tone faltering as she dammed her sadness. "What they would have done. I didn't think this world was ready to lose them yet, and I selfishly and impulsively made a decision that hurt you and them. In the end, it did not go the way I imagined, but if I regret anything, it's not having the strength to face you before I left."

"It was unfair," he said in agreement with her, "but I get it.  I understand better than some that you don't always get to say goodbye.  If there is the chance though, you should take it.  And everyone has things they find hard to face,"

Lilith squeezed a little tighter, keeping his arms fastened to his side, and kissed his forehead. Twice. Three times. Motherly muah, muah, muah. She stopped before he got mad and chuckled, releasing him. "I know that is something you normally do to a kid, but I wasn't lucky enough to be there then."

"Ew, mom stop," Genpaku whined sarcastically, playing it up for a moment knowing it would bring a smile to Lilith's face.  He stepped away with a small smile on his face.
"Besides, you saw me when I was still younger.  I would have been a little shit about it," he chuckled, trailing off.  He looked back over to his papers, letting out a sigh.
"You've had a few people come to check in on you, and I imagine they'll be swinging back by soon enough.  You want I should stick around, or you feeling up to handling them?"

Lilith was practically glowing, a wide tooth-shining smile stretching from ear to ear. "Possibly, but still adorable." Lilith stretched her legs back out and leaned back in the bed. When he spoke about her visitors, she had a few assumptions on who it was. The first: Kaito. She groaned and sighed.
"No, you don't need to be here, and honestly, you need a shower." Lilith waved her hand in front of her nose. "Go get some rest, shower, and food; choose a better order than that, but still do it."

Genpaku watched her a moment before nodding.  He took an experimental sniff of himself before giving her a smile back at the joke, picking up his papers and heading towards the door.  He stopped for a moment at the door though.
"People might be mad at you, but its because they care.  Despite what you seemed to think, a lot of people look up to you Lilith.  And at least one of them thought you had more yet to do.  If you need to talk, I'm here."  He gave her one last smile before making his way out of the Fourth Division.

Tsubine had not only waited for Genpaku to leave, but also for the next nurse to as well. He was about to make a racket and the fewer interruptions... the better. Once the coast was clear, he made his way into Lilith's room. He locked the door behind him. "You owe Mifune." Tsubine pulled a chair to her bedside and sat down. "If it weren't for him calming me down, we'd already be in a shouting match." Tsubine wasn't mincing words, nor was he relying on a friendly tone. He was suppressing more than just anger. "I also figure this is the best time to confront you about this 'cause I don't see you running away." He gestured to her current state. "You... Although not telling anyone helps... That fucking hurt me, Lilith." He crossed his arms and sighed.

The nurse that just left brought in some food for her. She hadn't eaten in hours and when Gen left, after a couple minutes of lonely thought, she realized she was starving. She began chowing down when Tsubine entered the room. With her mouth full and stopping mid-chew, Lilith watched him lock the door and raised an eyebrow. She finished her bite and set the food to the side as he pulled up a chair and began a restrained vent. She kept silent until he stopped and then she was silent some more. "I thought that I had something to do, Tsubine. After the fact, I realize how selfish my decision was. No one deserved that treatment... I'm sorry."

Tsubine leaned in after she was finished speaking. He stared into her eyes. He noticed that one was slightly different... But he didn't care about that. Tsubine wanted to make sure she understood. He was... satisfied. "Good. As long as you understand  what you did was a shitty decision." As he leaned in, Lilith stared back for a moment, and then lowered her gaze to the blanket. "Thought you were gonna kiss me. Against the rules!" Lilith said jokingly, chuckling a bit to lighten the mood. Tsubine raised an eyebrow. "Rules are made to be broken." Lilith's stomach sank a moment later. Her eyes darted to random spots around the room, then back to Tsu before tears welled in her right eye. She tried to hold back, but what little strength she had when Gen was in the room faded. "Tsu... I..." The tears fell. Her mouth stayed open as if to say something more, but nothing ever came out. She began sobbing.

Tsubine chuckled, then noticed Lilith's expression change. What happened next, he didn't expect. Tsubine pressed his forehead against hers. He didn't say anything for a long while—just like she had for him only a few days prior. That silence was just what was needed, at least for Tsubine. Any resentment he held was washed away by her tears. Lilith couldn't stop it. They kept coming and coming. His forehead pressed against hers, and the sobbing worsened. The only change was her grabbing onto his shirt and clenching it tightly in shaky hands. When her tears calmed, a couple minutes later, she tried to speak. "I messed up. I messed up so bad." she said. "He's gone. Ryotaro stopped me, took my place... I was so stupid trying to take that choice from everyone. Kaito's mad at me, you are... Gen... What that did to him." She brought her hands to her face and covered it. "I was so stupid."

Tsubine moved his hand from her bedside to her shoulder. He chuckled as she said she messed up. "Ya got that right. But Lilith? Everyone does something stupid when they think they're doing right." Tsubine's words rang with the echoes of a man who had too much experience with that.  "You thought you were doing the only right thing... You wanted to lessen the hurt that comes from someone you care about dying. I think you believe that the anticipation of knowing it's coming would be too much... but it's not. When..." Tsubine swallowed, holding back tears,  "Kanna died... I held her in my arms. I watched as she faded away... But I got to say good-bye to her. I got to tell her how I felt... and although I hurt still... I'd have hurt so much more if I had left things unsaid."

One of Lilith's hands released his shirt and reached up to take hold of the one on her shoulder. She didn't move it, but she did grip it as tight as she could in her condition. Her weakness became apparent as her hand shook. "I understand that... At least now I do. I'm just not used to saying goodbye, so... I guess... I didn't want anyone to have to." Tsubine nodded slowly. He understood why she did that. It was why he had left Kanna in the Mikazuki in a way. "Saying goodbye is the second hardest thing to do. The first is knowing you couldn't." Tsubine then used his free hand to grasp her chin, turning her face to his. "I lost one woman I cared about. I don't want to lose another so soon. So no more of this sacrifice stuff. Not for a while." Tsubine nodded Lilith's head so she would understand. With a sigh, he smiled for a moment.  "Not gonna lie though, you look like shit."

Lilith's tears finally slowed to a stop. She took a deep breath as her chin was lifted. She would have nodded on her own, but he chose to take that step away from her: She had just learned this damn lesson. Her expression dulled and then his next comment made her cross her arms. "And still look better than you, so-..." "Aunt Lilith?" A familiar, nervous sounding voice as the head of a black haired young woman popped in. "Ryoko... Hey sweetheart." Lilith opened her arms, and though she hesitated when she saw Tsubine, Ryoko ran in and hugged Lilith tightly. "I'm glad you're okay. I heard what happened...Kaito told us." Ryoko released Lilith and then slapped her upper arm. "How dare you. Do you have any idea how mad grandpa would have been if you or Uncle Kaito really took that spot?" Ryoko stomped her foot, yelling angrily through a river of tears. Lilith saw that Ryoko was falling into hysterics at that point. The poor girl almost collapsed, but Lilith caught her and pulled her into a tight hug, practically into her lap, and rested her cheek on Ryoko's head. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry he's gone." After a minute, Ryoko looked up to Tsubine. "What are you doing here?" She looked to Lilith. "Are you two friends?"

Tsubine had stood up as soon as Ryoko had gotten in the door. The more he heard, the more embarrassed he felt. And so, Ryoko's identity made a lot more sense. "Um... Yeah. She's part of the reason I can even be in the Seireitei..." He looked  between the two of them. "...I'm honestly more surprised the two of you know one another."

"She's my Aunt." "She's my niece." They said in unison. "How do you two know each other?" Lilith asked, her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "He almost died being dumb, but saving me, so I saved him and we got suck in this place for a while. He's a friend; I kind of owe him one... and I..." Ryoko blinked, staring at Tsubine. "Actually, can you and I talk?" Tsubine blinked too. He looked to Lilith. "As long as you don't try to sneak out and do another secret sacrifice." Tsubine chuckled, then walked out the door with Ryoko in tow. He led her to a room he knew was empty at the moment. "So, what's up?"

There came a light tapping on the door before it opened, a familiar face peaking in.  It lit with a smile that seemed to make the room a bit brighter.
"I see the rumor mill is working as well as can be hoped, you do indeed grace us still with your beauty and glower, despite your efforts elsewise," Takahiro said as he stepped into the room.

Lilith looked up. She had been alone for a short while before Takahiro made his way there. She sat up and faced him, a soft smile. "Hey, kid." she said before rolling her eyes. "Don't go boosting my ego now. After everything that's happened, I'm pretty sure I need to be put in my place..."

"You had many people worried there Captain Blake; how you feeling?"
Lilith sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I can tell... and I'm doing okay now. I'm weak enough that Third Seat may have a chance, but don't let that give you any ideas. So, who sent you?"

Takahiro feigned offense, covering his heart with both hands for a moment.
"I'm hurt.  Can't I simply come and check in on a old friend and valued colleague?" he asked, looking around the room as though seeking confirmation from an unseen audience.  He dropped the act a moment later, flashing her another smile.
"I'd give ya three guesses, but I'd only count the last one so let's skip to that one."

Lilith chuckled and stared at him, raising an eyebrow at his performance. She shook her head, an entertained smile creeping up. "Honestly, I don't even know why I asked. Last time I saw him, I clocked him one in the jaw. He's probably not too keen on visiting me right now. Poor boy. Tell him I'm not mad... and to get his ass in here soon."

"Good to see that this ordeal didn't knock anything loose in that head of yours, though I'd be surprised if much could," Takahiro said as confirmation.  "That also explains the bruise that's got all the girls in the First all flustered.  Well, most of them anyway."
After a moment, some of the joking faded from Takahiro's face, though there was still a warm smile.  "He was worried about you though, and not just him.  It's good to see you still with us.  I dare say the Eleventh would have maybe gotten downright manageable if you weren't still here, perish the thought.  Should I have them bring you anything?" he asked, giving a gesture towards the members of the Fourth beyond the walls.

Lilith nodded along to most of what Takahiro was saying. She got a kick out of the girls being up and arms about J's face. He won't enjoy that attention, she thought... She snorted when he mentioned her Division. "Not allowed. I've left specific instructions to prevent such atrocities in the event of my demise." She looked around and then shook her head. "No, I don't plan on being here long enough to want any of it, maybe a day more. Thanks for visiting; you might want to get back. Remember to pass on my message."

Takahiro gave another bright smile to her quip about her Division, though truth be told he would not have put it past her.  He gave a single nod, turning and wave back over his shoulder.  "Do I ever?" he asked as he made his way out.  "Rest well, when and while you can Captain."  And with that, he made his way back to the First Division.

There came a knock once more on the door of Lilith's room, heavier than the last.  After a moment the door was pushed open, and the looming form of Kaito dipped down and through it to enter the room.  He looked over Lilith a moment, pushing the door shut behind him with a foot and gave a small, soft smile.
"Good to see you're awake.  How are you feeling? he asked, his voice a low rumble.  There were bags under his eyes, but he seemed alert all the same.

It was all in the knock. She could tell immediately who it was and her stomach sank. This was going to be interesting... "Come in." she called out. As he came in, she tried pushing up a smile, but it was hard. He could probably tell she was nervous because she had a hard time keeping eye contact. "You... look tired, and... I'm fine. I'll be out of here tomorrow."

He gave a nod at her comment, taking a seat on the floor rather than try and cram himself into a chair.  He let out a sigh at her comment.
"That is good to hear.  And yes, I am tired.  There has been...much to do.  Much to plan."

Lilith pressed her head into the pillow, looking up at the ceiling. “You need some sleep, Kai. What is so important to plan that you can’t take a few hours to get rid of those bags?”

Kaito gave a small chuckle at that, letting it hang in the air for a few moments.
"How we're going to find and break the weapon that started all of this.  And its creator once we get the chance," he said, not wasting time beating around the bush on that.  "There were a few other things that needed the attention as well.  I took the news to Chinatsu and Ryoko.  Got word from the Breach that its closing up.  Stuff like that."

Lilith took a deep breath. “I see. Ryoko came by a little while ago. She’s taking it well. I think Ryotaro warned her of his likely passing, prepared her because of his age…Kaito…” Lilith made it clear by her tone she had something to say, but she went silent. She sat up and turned to face him, chuckling at the fact that they were almost at eye level with him sitting on the floor. She was still taller, but if it were Gen sitting here… “Um, I owe you an apology. I’m pretty sure that my impulsiveness in this rose from a fear of losing you and the old man. I rationalized it with reasons that I do still believe, but… taking that choice away from you, not allowing a proper discussion… It was unfair and it was selfish. I am sorry.”

Kaito hadn't expected her to just charge straight at the thing between them, but really he should have.  This was her way, and his as well if he was being honest.  He'd tempered it with experience.   He gave a small chuckle despite himself, and met her eye as she spoke.
"We all did what we thought was right, and in the end both of us got played by the Old Man.  Apology accepted; he wouldn't want us fighting over this," Kaito said, though his tone implied that it was not the only reason he accepted her apology.  He had been angry about it early yesterday, but he'd had time to let his temper cool and more than enough experience in how to let it.  All this did bring something else to mind though, and Kaito's expression grew more serious.
"Leaving me holding the ball where the younger Saionji was concerned however was foul play," he said, and held up a hand to stall her from speaking.
"And no, I have not yet.  That is one punishment you will have to do yourself,"

The weight that was holding Lilith down lifted with the acceptance of the apology. She took in a slow breath and let it out with the tension that left her body. At least… until he reminded her of Kazuo. Lilith facepalmed herself, hard. “Oh, god damn it.” She said, groaning. ”I guess that will work. I asked Takahiro to send him my way when he could. I can’t let that hang much longer, and frankly, I won’t be surprised if he punches me too.”

"You'd certainly have earned it," Kaito said with a nod.

“I didn’t want to keep it from him. If I had let him know what happened, before he and Kei found the solution, I’m not sure what would have happened. I’m not sure I want to tell him even now, but Kazuo being out on mission will only last for so long without any updates to his brother.” Lilith scooted back into bed and laid down, staring at a random spot on the wall.

"And it is deeply unfair.  Imagine if someone kept my or Genpaku's death from you.  I would not be shocked if half the Seireitei was leveled," he said, his words hard behind the joking tone.  He considered for a moment though.
"I am...unsure how young Saionji will handle it.  We will only know after it is done I suppose."

There was a visible anger-based adrenaline rush when Kaito mentioned someone lying to her about them. Yeah, that anger taught her another lesson. She calmed down quickly, and looked to Kaito. “I… feel like I should go.” She said and quickly hopped out of bed.

Kaito reached one large hand out and stopped Lilith from fully rising out of bed, applying just enough force to move her back to the bed.
"You are still in need of rest if I can push you over so easily," he said simply, but his words were like granite.
"These have been trying times, for all of us.  This Gotei has never been tested like it has over the last few days.  No sense running after a rock already rolling down the hill.  I was speaking with J. just before I came here, and given the message he received I imagine he will be along shortly."

Lilith’s attempt to fight Kaito was like… pathetic. Holy hell was it pathetic. Her expression distorted, like she had just smelled something most foul. “I don’t really have a choice if I can’t even put pressure back on your hand.” Lilith childishly drummed on Kaito’s hand as she relaxed again. “And you’re right. It’s nerve-wracking to have to wait… So, tell me, the Arrancar deal. How do you plan to handle that because… I’ve got an idea.”

Kaito raised an eyebrow.
"I had planned to indulge her, lest she cause some serious havoc.  I planned to use the Senkaimon to transport her into the countryside near one of the forts, give he a chance to see what she wanted to see.  I don't get the feeling that this one cares much about the war, other than as entertainment.  What were you thinking?"

“Well, indulge her, of course, but… do so at a time that we send a capable squad out to deal with the cannon and any other Arrancar possible. It’s a decent distraction. Their strongest player off the board will prevent loss of life, and we can end the threat that cannon being fired again. What do you think?”

Kaito frowned at the suggestion, but didn't dismiss it right away.  He rolled it around in his mind for a few moments as silence hung between them.
"I dislike how much sense it makes, and that it means I will not be taking care of it myself.  If I had not had so much to handle, I would have moved out to do so already," he grumbled, trailing off.  He considered it again for a few more moments.
"I see some issues with navigation and logistics, but otherwise it...is a solid plan," he said, making a face as though he had just tasted something foul.

“The other way is to introduce me to her and she and take a tour. You can come up with some explanation that you would not be allowed to honor the deal if I was not the one giving her the tour. Of course, this only works if I’m at full power by the time this deal is to take place. If I’m not, I doubt I could handle that powerful of an Arrancar.”

"We are rapidly running out of time where that is concerned; I bargained a week's worth of time, and we are down four days," he commented.

“That choice is yours. You made the deal, and the edge is your responsibility.” Lilith gave him a look as if she knew what she was saying was so hypocritical, but… she learned a lesson.

Kaito let out a huff.
"No, your plan is sound no matter how much I may dislike it.  It will arose suspicion if I am not present, and the denizens of Hueco Mundo know my energy.  If this group is to move quickly and unnoticed, it is better if I am elsewhere.  I will have the logistics worked out."

Lilith nodded. She had no problem with Kaito not being in danger! In fact, it was preferable! “Alright then. I’m sure we’ll have it all worked out by the time your friend shows up.” Lilith said, but her tone was more playful and lighthearted. She was feeling a lot better, though… J walked in, and that feeling in her stomach returned. She looked to Kaito and motioned for him to head out. “I got it.”

Kaito raised an eyebrow, but gave a small shrug of his shoulders and rose.
"I need some coffee if I'm going to get this plan on its best path.  I'm going to see if I can rustle up anything halfway decent around here.  Bring either of you any?" he asked before making his way out in search of the drink, and giving these two a chance to hash out what was to come.

Neither Lilith or J asked for anything to be brought to them. Kaito left, but implied he would stick close. At the moment, Lilith sort of appreciated that. Her strength was not what it was supposed to be, and she worried about J’s reaction. Once Kaito was gone, J stepped up to the side of her bed.

“Sit, please. We need to talk.” Lilith gestured to the chair.

J glanced to the chair and sat, watching her with a boyish nervousness he rarely showed. He kept quiet, his eyes darted around, and he slouched as if she were to strike him on the head any moment. The bruise on his jaw did give him reason to worry about that, though it was now pointless.

“J., I need to apologize. I have made a lot of mistakes recently.” Lilith sat up and faced him, keeping strong eye contact with him. “More than you’re currently aware. Even though my intentions were the protection of the Gotei, recent events clarified exactly how wrong I was in those decisions.”

Silence. The Saionji sat in curiosity at this unexpected turn of events. He planned on giving the apology, not receiving one. He felt he had betrayed Lilith’s trust by not listening to her request and could not figure out what decision she was talking about. Was it lying him about the time needed? He understood that, and he probably would have done the same thing to keep his brother back. He brought his hand up to his jaw and went to speak, but Lilith shook her head and took his hand.

“No, not that. At least not now…” she wrapped both hands around his and held on in a manner that reminded him of old memories. J. gave her a puzzled look, confused and worried. “J. not long after the captains were assigned jobs to deal with the Edge breaking, there was an incident with your bother and Isamu.”

J.’s back straightened. His eyes widened, jaw stiffened, and he watched Lilith very closely.

“The insects that have been discovered taking control of the minds of Shinigami were behind it. Both were slain in battle with each other. From what we can tell,” J. tore his hand from hers and looked away, “Isamu was forced to strike Kazuo, he fought back, but the surprise attack was too much. They’re gone.”

J. stood up breathing heavily through his nose before opening his mouth and gasping for air. There was a pain in his chest he couldn’t place and he glared at Lilith. “You’re lying.”

Lilith kept silent.

“Tell me you’re lying!” J. shouted, grabbing both her shoulders, and squeezed, but she said nothing and barely reacted, “This is payback. It’s because I didn’t listen about the Edge. Even for you, this is cruel.”

Lilith shook her head, still having the will power to fight the pain he was causing in her shoulders. “J., I’m not lying; you know that.”

J. stared her in the eyes and saw no intent to deceive him. He knew she was telling the truth. He repeated it in his head again and again, releasing her as every memory of his brother flashed in his mind. “Days… You kept this from me for days.”

“Yes, I did.”

J.’s entire body began to heat up, but his gut got the worst of it. His breathing became heavier and heavier. He glared at her and the rage increased more. This time, J. was the one balling up a fist and as he swung, he turned toward the hospital wall and blew out a decent sixed hole.

As J stood with his fist in the wall, Lilith was shocked. She had expected it to hit her, accepted it, but he still chose elsewhere. She wasn’t sure whether that was because he cared about her, fear her, or feared Kaito’s being nearby. Either way, she stepped forward and put a hand on his shoulder. “J.”

J. ripped his shoulder from her grasp, but the jerking motion threw him off balance. He stumbled and fell on his ass. As the door started to open, Lilith forced it back shut and sat by J.’s side as his word was visibly collapsing on itself. “Stay out.” She demanded and there was no more resistance on the door.

The young man that always kept it together, never showed emotion, and walked around the Gotei like a tower of mystery was crumbling. She sat down on the floor right next to him and pulled J. in for a hug. He resisted at first, but not hard enough for it to even matter, even in her current state. He melted, lost all fight, all strength. He hugged her back, weakly, his hands gripping the back of her shirt to keep his arms up as he began releasing the pain in the form of shirt-muffled yells.

Lilith never let go of him, and ended up rubbing his back to try and comfort him. The number of tears shed in the last few days were too fucking high. He became more of a young boy with this news than anyone else had become, but those who truly knew J. would expect that. He lost more and dealt with more than anyone. He had the right to break.

Lilith could not tell how long it took. By the time J. stopped and his despair settled, his eyes were red, the back of her shirt torn, and the front of it understandably soaked. He slid away from her and leaned against the wall, staring off farther than the walls allowed.

After some time, he stood up, but was betrayed by his own legs and fell right back to the ground. She caught him so he wouldn’t hurt himself, and saw the upsetting state he really was in. His eyes were glazed over. His mind shut itself down to cope.

“I need to tell Mom.” He said.

“You will. If you need, or want, I can be there.” Lilith said.

“No.” J. shook his head. “I’ll do it alone.”

J. stood up, more strength under him this time. As Lilith went to stand, she was suddenly swooped up and placed in bed. She was given an order to rest before J. walked out of the room without another word, softly closing the door behind him.

“He’s a better person than I…” Lilith sighed and laid back down, closing her eyes. As the guilt slowly raised in her, she turned over on her side and assumed the fetal position, hugging her pillow close, cursing herself for all the mistakes she’s been making…